Wanting to forget
by wiaway
Summary: A mainly Jack ad Sam fic around season 4
1. it all started with

**Wanting to forget**

_Cannon up to some time after the Zatarc incident- lie detector in season 4, from there on its all an alternate reality. It is going to be most Sam/Jack focused and will have later chapters rated M. It is my first ever fanfic, so please be kind and review. _

**Chapter 1**

Major Samantha Carter was sitting in her lab furiously trying to understand the latest piece of

alien technology brought through the stargate. She knew it was a power source of some kind, its electrical readings were too high for it to be anything else, but exactly what it was and how it worked she had no idea. She had been poking and prodding it for hours when suddenly she heard a voice from the entrance of her lab.

"Blue jello?" a gruff voice asked.

She looked up from her desk with a weary smile. "I think I should eat dinner first don't you sir?" She answered, a small grin as she looked at her commanding officer.

"Well" Colonel Jack O'Neill replied "Since it is already 2 am i think that ship has sailed"

Sam looked down at her watch, unbelievably it did infact read 2 am. She let out a sigh, and that was all the signal Colonel O'Neill need to bring the dessert over to her. He sat on the edge of her desk looking down at her as she placed a spoonful of her favorite dessert into her mouth.

"You work too hard Major" He stated plainly, concern in his voice, "We are on a mission to PX7-835 in the... well i would say morning if it was not already so late. Your doohickey" he stated, pointing widely at the grey metal object on the desk "will still be here after a sleep and the mission tomorrow, and then you can fiddle to your hearts content"

Sam glared at him "You are still up sir... don't you also have to go on the mission?"

He answered back immediately "I was asleep, at least until i realised you were not". His eyes as he looked down at her were full of feelings neither could admit, and they had just recently been in deep trouble because of it. "So to bed with you, thats an order Major" The look on his face told her that he meant it.

Giving in Sam gave a brief, yes sir, salute and headed to her quarters. "Sir..." she asked as she got to the door "how did you know i was not asleep?"

O'Neill was still sitting on the edge of her desk when he responded "I have my ways Carter, don't forget, i'm sneaky". He laughed as she shook her head at him and she headed to bed.

**Chapter 2**

Even though it was already 2 am when Sam reached her bunk, she knew that sleep would not be coming easily to her tonight. Why did her commanding officer have to be so... so... well so him? If it had not been for that Zatarc incident she could go back to pretending that he did not care for her. She had looked right into his face as he stated "Because I care about her . . . a lot more than I'm supposed to" and it had almost broken her heart. She knew as well as him that there was nothing they could do about their now admitted mutual feelings. It was almost 2 months ago that they had been strapped to that damn machine. 2 months of looking at him, knowing that what she felt was returned.

At first they had completely managed to avoid each other unless on a mission or in the briefing room. Not that either would admit it, but it was just too hard to do anything other than work together. Sam turned to her research, working even longer hours than usual if that was possible, and for a while that made it easier. They kept going on missions together with Teal'c and Daniel and after a few weeks things felt back to normal. At least in the waking hours.

As bedtime approached each night all she could she was images of the Colonel in her mind. How he laughed, the way he played stupid, him running into battle defending all around him and the image burned into her brain, the way he looked at her when no one else was watching. His salt and pepper hair, naughty schoolboy smile and brown eyes that conveyed all that was happening in this brain. That was the image that kept her up.

Colonel Jack O'Neill, hero and defender of Earth. That was not an understatement. He was a hero. In many ways they both where, and thats while they needed to stay working together as SG1. They had experienced far too much and where needed way too often to not work together. Earth and the stargate program needed them. Their hearts did not matter at all in comparison to that.

Closer to 3 am than 2 am, Sam finally drifted off to sleep.

**Chapter 3**

"Dial the Gate" General Hammond bellowed as he watched SG1 assemble in the gate room. A few moments later the familiar sounds of the chevrons locking in was replaced by the swishing noise and blue light of an outgoing wormhole connecting to PX7-835. As always the team walked up the ramp with determination and the wormhole closed behind them. But that was 4 days ago and SG1 had missed their check in.

Hammond was concerned. It was not like O'Neill or any member of SG1 to miss a pre-organised communication. Hammond assembled SG3 and SG8 to follow SG1 through the gate and find the team. After hours of searching they managed to locate 2 members of SG1, Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, both heavily drugged, but uninjured. They were immediately brought back to the medical facility at Cheyenne mountain. All Dr. Frasier could get out of either men before both needed to be sedated was "ambushed" and "taken"

This information had General Hammond incredibly concerned. PX7-835, as far as they and the MALP could tell was completely uninhabited. The only reason SG1 had even gone there was because it was likely that the planet was a rich Naqahdah source, and a possible place to establish an off world mine. This new information left two large questions that desperately needed to be answered. One, who or what was able to somehow ambush, disarm and drug SG1, and two, where the hell were O'Neill and Carter?

**Chapter 4**

The first thing Jack felt when he opened his eyes was the distinct wish to close them again. All he could see around him was that he was in some sort of medical facility, God knows where? Slowly through what he recognised as a drug filled haze he moaned out "I don't think we are in Kansas anymore Toto".

"I think you are right there Sir" a familiar voice echoed from the other side of the room.

"Cater, that you"?

"Yes Sir"

"Any sign of Batman and Robin?"

Sam could not help but laugh. "No Sir"

"Any idea where we are?" he asked.

"No Sir"

"Any idea what happened?" his eyes now opening more fully.

"No Sir" she answered quickly. "One moment the 4 of us were together doing a rock survey and then, poof, here we are". Her hands gesturing up frantically.

"Well you have been a great help contestant, and here is your prize, a white room with" he opened his eyes to get a good look "it would seem a giant bed in the middle"

"It would appear that way Sir" she said with a smile on her face "at least its better than the last time we found ourselves in prison together".

"OK then" he muttered looking at her with a smile. They had both been taken prisoner way too many times it let it rattle them. At least he knew Carter was safe. What concerned him was the well being of Daniel and Teal'c.

"You hurt Carter" he asked.

"No Sir, other than being given some sort of sedative to get us here I am pretty sure they have not done anything to me".

"Good" He said a little too quickly.

It was only a second later, while they were looking at each other they heard a door open. Instantly both turned their attention to the almost human looking person before them, except, he was taller than your average man and his skin was of an blueish hue.

"Welcome" the person said politely. "We apologise for drugging you but it was the only way we could bring you here"

"Where's here" O'Neill almost barked.

"Its our homeworld, Januic. You were on the surface earlier today. You are currently underground in one of our research facilities. My name is Qilach. I am the chief researcher here."

Researcher in what Jack thought to himself. "Where are our friends" He asked calmly.

"They have been returned to your homeworld, and they are uninjured".

"And i am just meant to believe that Qilach?" Jack stated.

"Whether you believe it or not, it is the truth. No harm came to your friends, and none will come to you" He answered calmly. The strangers calm tone of voice was really starting to annoy a certain Colonel.

Sam sensing this took the opportunity to speak up. "I too am a researcher, perhaps i can be of assistance to you, and then we can leave and be reunited with our friends?"

"Yes" Qilach nodded, "Both you and your mate will be of use in our research, and then you may return home".

"Well that's great to hear" Jack stated, standing as if ready to leave "wait... what did you just say?"

"At this facility we study the mating habits of other, less developed species. Every time a new species comes through the light disk we select two individuals in a relationship, induce them to mate, and then let them return home. We long ago started using binary cloning of a way of reproducing young, but are interested in how others reproduce."

"Whooa whoa whoa..." Jack exclaimed "first of all, seriously you like to watch? … and secondary, Major Carter and I are not mates, as you would call it".

"Our tests state otherwise. You are both producing pheromones that indicate your readiness to mate, your pupils dilate when looking at each other and your heart rate increases other suggesting arousal, and finally we watched the way you interacted when on the surface. You are clearly a mated couple.

Sam, desperate to stop this conversation at any cost almost begged "we are not a couple, please just let us leave, we mean no disrespect to you or your people, but we must be allowed to return home".

Qilach looked at them both with confusion. All his research leads to them being a couple, and he has never been wrong before. "I'm sorry if i am in error, but it is too late to stop the research now. While you were both asleep you were injected with a substance intended to increase arousal. It should start taking effect within the next few moments. I was only here to greet you and to tell you to not worry. When you have finished demonstrating you mating practices, you will be allowed to return to through the light disk." He gave a quick smile and left the room, pulling the door behind him.

"HEY" Jack yelled "get your big green butt back in here and let us out!" Jack ran to the door banging it. Screaming to be let out. This was the worse possible circumstance. He cared for Carter, more than he should, and what, this alien wanted to use them as a science project? It was humiliating, it was unbelievable, it was unforgivable.

He turned around to see Carter sitting on the edge of the bed. She look as desperate as him to be out of this situation. He fell down against the door and stared at her from across the room.

"It will be ok Major" he was deliberately using her title here, wanting to remind himself of their relative military positions. "It is not like we have ever had to resist each other before"

A resigned look spread over her face.

**Chapter 5 **

About 25 minutes had elapsed since Qilach had left them in the white room, and Sam was getting scared. She could not deny that she had been injected with something that was making her aroused, in fact it was making her more than aroused, she was horny. She knew the drug must have been releasing some neurotransmitters that was scrambling her brain chemistry, because she wanted to do nothing more than rip her clothes off and mount Colonel O'Neill where he still sat slumped against the door, even though she knew it would be wrong to do so.

While still dressed completely in her fatigues at the moment she was unsure of how long it could last. Her nipples were rock hard against the heavy material, painfully so, and between her legs she could feel wetness dripping even though she had been restrained and not touched herself. She was even finding it hard to breath. She sat there, eyes closed, unable to look at Colonel O'Neill. Neither had said anything for at least 15 minutes. At first they had joked about resisting each other, but the temptation had got too much and they had agreed to be silent.

Then in the silence Sam heard "Major"

"Yes Sir" she answered almost automatically, eyes still shut as she sat on the bed a good 5 meters away from him.

"I need to..." he stumbled over his own words "relieve myself" he stammered out.

Sam's eyes darted open and she looked straight into his pained face. He was struggling for control, she could see that every fibre of his body was tensing up. His eyes begging for relief, it was obvious that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. A lesser man would already have been all over her, but Jack O'Neill was not a lesser man.

"I understand Sir" she spoke softly.

He slowly placed his hand on his belt buckle and undid it. Followed by unzipping his pants. "Ahhhhhh" he growled out as his manhood sprang free of his pants, the tip already visable sitting against his stomach as the rest stayed in his briefs.

"I'm so sorry Carter" he said as he placed his hand inside his briefs and began to jerk himself off. The look on his face was a mixture of disappointment in himself for being unable to control his actions and pure pleasure.

"Sir" she stammered "It OK, i need to relieve myself too".

The second those words came from her lips Jacks eyes opened wide to stare as his amazing, beautiful, freakishly intelligent Carer unzip her jacket and raise her t-shirt. She started to touch her breasts through her bra, and with her other hand she undid her zip and slipped her hand inside her panties. He saw the outline of her hand moving under the material and matched it to his own strokes. Imagining himself as her hand, guiding himself into her, filling her.

"Ohhhh God Carter" he moaned as he stroked himself harder and faster. His now fully erect manhood slipping completely out of his briefs, all thick 9 inches of it visible to Sam. They were staring at each other lust in both their eyes, their minds clouded almost completely by the drug inside them.

"It's not enough Sir" Sam moaned "I need you...Jack..." almost begging now. "I need you inside me".

That was all it took for Jack to forget that he was her superior officer and that they could be court martialed for what he was about to do. He immediately jumped off the floor and ran to the edge of the bed where she sat. Sam lifted her ass off the bed and he pulled his pants and then hers down to their ankles. In an instant he pushed her back against the bed and pinned her down with his body. He lined his engorged manhood up with her entrance and in one fluid movement sank himself into her depths.

"Fuuuuck" he screamed out as he entered her fully. Her walls soaking wet invited him in deeply. She moaned instantly. "Yes Jack, thats it, harder" He lay on top of her pounding into her, lust overtaking both their bodies. This was not making love, they both knew that. This was fucking like wild animals and it could not last long. Within minutes of his cock being pulled by her walls Jack felt the pressure building inside of him.

"Sam" he moaned, "I'm going to cum"

"Just a little longer, please Jack" Sam begged. "I'm so close".

Jack kept pounding away. Knowing that at any second he would explode. "Sam i need to pull out"

"No" she begged

"Sam" he moaned, grunting more as he fucked her harder and harder with his engorged cock.

"I'm there" Sam yelled, her walls now spasming as Jacks cock hit her deep. Pulling and squeezing him as she orgasmed. He could resist no longer, her body pulling him in deeper and his cum started to shoot with in her body. Both of them grunting and moaning.

After a few moments, all his cum now spilt inside her wanting body, he looked at her in the face. Lust disappeared from both of them almost instantly. He looked into her eyes, she was confused and scared. "What have we done?" she asked.

He looked down between their bodies and saw his cock still with in her. "Somethng we should have never done" He answered. Pain in her eyes and his voice. "I'm sorry Carter" He pulled himself out of her, leaving Sam feeling empty and Jack feeling alone.

It was then that Qilach reentered the room. Sam and Jack quickly fixed their clothes.

"Don't worry, we are going to return you home now, you did exceptionally well, most couples only last for a fraction of the time you did. I again want to say that if i was in error I am sorry. After mating the drug given to you earier breaks down into a sedative and we will return you to the light disk so that you are able to return to your home world." With that Qilach nooded and left the room.

2 hours later at stargate head quaters command recieved a message with SG1 signituer. They opened the eye and in walked Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill. Hammond raced to the gate room and bellowed. "where have you 2 been?"

"Thats just it Sir" Major Carter answered "the last thing either myself or Colonel O'Neill remember is standing here. Then we woke up next to the stargate on PX7-835. How long ago was that?"

"That was 4 days ago and 3 search parties ago." General Hammond answered.

"Lucy, you got some splaining to do" Was O'Neill's only reply as he stared blankly at Hammond.

To be continued.


	2. Jack always hated sick bay

Chapter 5

The second General Hammond had said the that team had been away for 4 days Colonel O'Neill knew that it meant two things, debriefing and medical check ups. There was nothing he hated more than being in the medical bay, ok... there was paper work, that he hated more.

So with as much patience as he could muster O'Neill headed towards the medical bay and was greeted by a smiling Dr Janet Frasier. "Dr Strange Love" he greeted with a tip to an imaginary hat. He then jumped up onto the bed and stuck his arm out, ready to be poked and prodded.

Dr Frasier rolled her eyes at him. "I am assuming that I'm going to have to put up with your antics throughout all the procedures Colonel." A polite nod and weary smile was all she got in return. Janet watched as she stuck the needle in his arm drawing blood, he squirmed like a 2 year old. For someone who battled intergalactic evil on a daily basis he was such a baby at heart. While turning his head away from the needle Jack noticed that Major Carter was already in the bed next to his, waiting for medical clearance.

"How come I am being turned into a pin cushion while Major Cater puts her feet up?" he teased.

"Because unlike a certain Major, I came here as soon as we left the gateroom Sir". She replied feistily.

"Spoil sport" He laughed back. "You feeling alright Carter?"

"I am Sir, a little woozy, but other than that, fine."

"Right then" he looked her way just for a second. Trying to not get caught. He did that all the time, when ever he felt sure that she was not looking in his direction, he would look in hers. He knew he had feelings for her, but there were so many reasons as to why those feelings were never going to be acted on. First of all, it would get them both court marshalled, and neither of them wanted that. To both himself and Major Cater the air force was as important to their life a breathing. Not only that, they were needed by the air force. One of them could transfer off Stargate program, at least then they could see each other, but neither of them was selfish enough to put the fate of the world at risk for a quick fling. He knew that was all they could ever be. That she was attracted to him, he knew, she maybe even thought that she loved him, but they were too different. For one thing he was so much older than her, more bitter than her, and far more stupid. There was no way in hell he was good enough for her, and he knew it. Still, he did like to look at her.

Shaking his head Jack turned away and decided to get some shut eye.

A while later, while half asleep he heard Dr. Frasier asking Carter some very personal questions. Not wanting to make either woman feel uncomfortable he kept his eyes closed and pretended to be asleep, but he could not help but overhear as apart from him no one else was in medical, and he was silent.

"Sam, I sorry I have to ask this, but are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

"Well Janet" she laughed "right now I am seeing you!"

Dr Frasier joined in with the light hearted banter. "I mean have you being seeing any men, outside of work, in what I would deem as your normally non existent social life"

Sam looked at her with a puzzled look, her eyebrow raised, "Do you mean am I dating anybody?" That got Jacks attention, but to his own amazement he kept his eyes shut. Janet nodded her head. "No" Jack felt relief fill his body, and knew that he had no reason too. "I have not dated anyone for about 3 years Janet."

"Have you had any flings?" Sam looked at Janet, thinking that she just answered that. Dr Frasier knew she needed to be more specific. "Have you had sex with anyone recently Sam, say in the last 2 weeks?" Again, the women had Jacks full attention.

"No" Sam answered firmly, shaking her head a little, wondering why she was being asked. Then it struck her. Shit, she thought to herself, I have lost 72 hours of memories, she was suddenly scared. "Unless you are here to tell me otherwise". Sam stared into Janets face, both as her friend and as her doctor. Calm, but wanting to know the truth.

"It would seem from the examinations that we do when ever a team member has been unconscious for a length of time, especially in your case as there was memory loss, that there is evidence of sexual contact" Dr Frasier had said it honestly but knew Sam needed more. "There is evidence of bruising etcetera".

Sam's eyes widened in fear, but as she was always the professional she did not say anything other than, "Are you sure?" and "how recently".

"I believe it highly likely, and within the last 36 hours". She replied as Dr Frasier, and then leant in to give a hug as Janet as Sam started to have tears fall silently down her face.

"Do you mean to tell me that someone drugged and abused Major Carter" Jack angrily screamed as he jumped to his feet, and almost running towards the doctor, to the shock of both women, who until that moment had thought he was asleep. Oh crap, he thought to himself. The second Dr Frasier confirmed his fears, he turned blind with rage. How could someone do that to his Sam. Although she was looking at him as if she was about to tear him to shreds right now.

"You were listening" she demanded, he gave a slight nod. Shock that the anger he just expressed had been turned right back on him. "You had no right" she screamed at him, using him as the conduit of her anger "you had no right to listen" tears now streaming down her face. "Your my CO, nothing else, this is none of your business". She looked so fragile, a women normally so strong that Jacks heart felt like it was being torn apart. Sam hit his chest repeatedly in frustration as he sat down on the beds edge. He could not help himself, he leaned in to hug her tightly, and she held him tightly back. Both of them forgetting that Dr Frasier was in the room with them.

After a few moments he leant away from the hug, but placed his forehead against hers. "I'm so sorry Sam" he said softly. He was not sure if he was apologising for eavesdropping or for what happened, but it did not matter, he was just sorry. For both of the rage that then filled seconds before had lessened. He released her from his arms and leaned back into the chair, and Sam slummed back onto the bed. It was then he turned his eyes back to the Doctor. "What else to you know?" he asked sternly, seeing that there was something she was holding back.

"You both have some very strange chemical compounds going though your systems. I am unsure yet what they mean, but we should have some answers within 48 hours. My guess in that they are playing a huge role in your memory lapses. Teal'c and Daniel had similar compounds in their systems when they where found at the gate and we have determined that is what made them unconscious. You have the same bio tracers in your systems, along with another compound we can not yet identify. We do not yet know what this compound is. Until we do not want to give you any medications in case they interact with it."

Both Sam and Jack and turned back into Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill as Dr Frasier spoke. Each silently nodding their head. "Sam, I will need to inform General Hammond of all the medical particulars in this case, are you ready for me to do that?" Sam gave a nod of her head.

"Are we released from sick bay Doc?" Jack asked, wanting nothing more than to be off base, and to get his 2IC out of there as well.

"I can't release you for duty yet Sirs, but if you wish to go home to rest I have no objection. Sam, if you want me and Cassie to come over for a little girls night in later let me know." Janet stated, wanting to let her friend know that she was here for her.

"Well, that's only if Daniel, Teal'C and myself cant convince her to come to my place and watch bad TV shows from the 80's first. There is one I've got, I can't quite remember its name, but I swear Carter this guy one made a bomb out of sugar, salt and weed killer. It was awesome. " A strange look of awe and pride was on his face.

Feeling in control more like herself again, Sam rolled her eyes. "Lead the way Sir."

With that Jack jumped up and with a quick look back at her started to walk out the door. He knew that he had to grab Daniel and Teal'c on his way out, but one look at Carter and he knew they would be at his house tonight too. Its what all four of them needed. A night off base, beer, pizza, and no mention of the stargate program.


	3. 80's television and pizza

**Chapter 7**

It was as easy as Jack excepted it would be to get Daniel and Teal'c over to his place that night. All he did was knock on both of their doors. First he went to Teal'c. He was in the kneeling of the floor in the middle of his Kel'no'reem so of course Jack just shouted "Buddy!"

The Jaffa open both eyes and turned his slightly to him. "Colonel O'Neill, I am relieved to see that you had been let out of the medical bay. Is it time for the mission briefing?"

"Nope, we are saving that for tomorrow big guy, but if you want to I have bad 80's television, pizza and beer waiting for the team at my house" He said with a little lilt to his voice, but the Jaffa, knowing O'Neill as he did, understood that when this kind of offer was made, there was usually a reason.

"I would be glad to O'Neill." Teal'c stood up and immediately joined Jack and Sam in the hallway.

Next was Daniels door. Sam knocked here, and feeling the need to tease the archaeologist she shouted "Quick Daniel, come here. There has been a discovery at Pompei! All the ash was not from a volcano blast but instead a Goa'uld mothership that exploded above Napels. She gave a little smirk as she heard him almost fall off his chair as he ran out the door and into Jack.

Looking up in surprise he stated "where is the evidence?" then looking at the laughter about to explode from Sam's face he laughed "there is no evidence is there?"

"Nope" Jack laughed. "But come over to my place tonight and we will see what we can find". Daniel was about to protest when he looked at Sam, ready to chastise her for her rouse, but for a second he saw a sadness there, and knew something was going on and that his friend needed him. "OK, lets go, just promise me we won't be watching the Simpsons."

Jack just shook his head, "No can do Danielson, the Simpsons are just way too good to not come out on a night like tonight". Sam and Daniel ground in unison, to which Jack made a gesture that was a fake "what".

**Chapter 8**

40 minutes later all 4 members of SG 1 had settled in Jack's living room, pizza boxes open, beers in hand and to their shock not actually watching the Simpsons. O'Neill had finally relented and allowed Cater to choose for their viewing pleasure. She had shocked them all by choosing not a TV show as she promised she would but a movie.

Sam had been looking over the movies when out of the corner of her eye she saw one that she could be believe was in his collection. It was one of her favorite movies to watch when she just wanted to by Sam and not Major Cater, and if there was ever that time, it was today. She grabbed the movie and turned the tv on. She held up other cover and said "really Sir, you own this".

Horror came over Colonel O'Neill's face. What excuse could he possibly have... maybe he could say it belonged to his ex wife Sarah, but then why did he keep it? No, he would just have to face facts. He liked Dirty Dancing. "What Cater, its a good movie." He defended "Fantastic music, a great exploration of how different groups in society relate in changing and challenging times. A perfect moral for modern society. Not to mention the girls look pretty damn sexy while dancing." He had said the last part with a smirk on his face.

Sam let out a laugh a fell down on the couch next to him while she pressed play. For the next 2 hours not much happened, other than Teal'c questioning the prejudices shown in the movies and inquiring about the different dances and Daniel complaining that he was watching a chick flick. O'Neill was slowly nursing his second beer, the pizza eaten long ago. At some point Sam had drifted off to sleep and in doing so had rested her head against Jack's shoulder. In the darkened room Jack had not made any effort to get her to move, and after all it was just Daniel and Teal'c, and both of them understood the closeness of the team. At least that was what he was telling himself. Not that he felt that he needed to protect her, and that if he could see and feel her then he knew she was safe.

When the movie ended Daniel got up to turn on the lights when Teal'c whispered "wait Daniel Jackson" and gestured to the couch were now both Jack and Sam were sleeping. Her head on his shoulder and his head leaning down against hers.

"You think we should leave them resting?" Daniel asked

"Indeed" replied Teal'c.

Daniel took one look at them and decided to leave them there. He knew something had gone wrong on this mission and that Sam was hiding away pain. If resting on her commanding officer meant that she actually got some sleep, he would not be complaining. "Come on Teal'c, looks like you're crashing at my place tonight".

With that both men stood up, grabbed their things and locked the door behind them as they walked out to the car.


	4. Sleepover?

**Chapter 9**

About 3 am Sam felt something move against her shoulder and she jumped in place, her eyes searching around the room trying to focus. It was then she realised that the movement she felt was Colonel O'Neill waking up. She looked up at him, wondering how they had come to be asleep in the dark on his couch.

"You fell asleep after during the movie, after the last few days i did not want to wake you. I must have fell asleep at some point too because we seen to be 2 team members down." He gave a little sheepish smile, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Sorry Sir, i did not mean to fall asleep". Sam sat up and patted down her clothes and stood up.

"What ya doin?" Jack asked as she stood.

"Heading home." Was her immediate reply. She started walking towards the door.

"Don't be stupid Carter" O'Neill almost bellowed out. "I have a guest room... you have to be up in 3 hours anyway, just crash here."

Sam looked at Jack, doubting what her response should be. It seemed illogical to drive the 30 minutes to her home at 3 in the morning, but she knew she really should not stay the night. It was all perfectly innocent, but if anyone found out they would get the wrong impression, and that alone in the wrong hands could ruin her career. Especially since Daniel and Teal'c had already left for the night, but she did feel so very tired.

"Come on" O'Neill said as he stood up from the couch and walked towards her. "I'll give you a spare T-shirt to sleep in." He then took her hand and walked her to the spare bedroom. "I'll be right back" he stated simply as he walked to his room. Within a few seconds he was back with a Marvin the Martian T-shirt for her. "What" he laughed as she looked at him is disbelief.

"First dirty dancing, now looney tunes Sir?"

"I am a man of refined tastes Major" he defended.

"Do you really think it is a good idea for me to stay Sir?"

Jack looked Sam's eyes. He had seen her scared earlier that day, tonight, in the darkness by her door she just looked like she was ready to collapse. She was strong, and he knew that, but even the strong need to sleep. Jack took her right hand in his, gave it a small squeeze, trying silently to give her comfort, and to assure her that everything was fine, that they were not doing anything wrong.

"Good night Carer" he said with his voice full of emotion, then with military firmness. "I'll wake you at 06:00 and we can head into work from here". With that he dropped her hand, turned away and headed into his bedroom.

That night Sam lay on his spare bed in his T-shirt thinking about so many things. Two in particular were fighting it out in her mind. What had happened to her on PX7-835 and why did Colonel O'Neill have to be so nice to her at the moment, their relationship was blurred enough, but it was easier to keep everything straight when he played the fool. Tried, but feeling safe in his house Sam was soon asleep.

The same could not be said for Major O'Neill. He was tossing and turning that night. He should have protected her. That was his job as her CO. See that no harm comes to your men, but he had let her down. If that did not make him feel guilty enough he had also listened in on what should have been a very private conversation, and then acted out in anger. Finally, and worse of all, he could not get the image of her in bed, just down the hallway in his favorite T-shirt. A part of him wanted nothing more than to go to her and make an Earth shattering kaboom, but larger moral part of his brain made him stay in his bed until he found a very frustrated sleep.


	5. Pink lines

**Chapter 10**

It had been 7 weeks since the team had come back from PX7-835 and life had pretty much turned back to normal, well almost. At first Sam had been a little humiliated when General Hammond had heard about the fact that someone had been intimate with her on the planet. SG command sent out search party after search party to try and find any humanoid life form that existed on the planet, but none was found. There was no sign of civilization anywhere. Even Dr Fraser's medical report could not offer much, other than Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter had been given the same drug, and that this drug seemed to be some kind of a stimulant. So eventually it became just another mission full of unanswered questions.

What had changed was the way SG1 was treating Sam. The team had become more protective of her. She noticed on the next mission that if a man even looked at her for a second Daniel would do something to draw their attention away from her, once this involved him accidently calling the leader of a city a monkey brain, Teal'c would place his body between hers and any threatening male, and Colonel O'Neill almost knocked out a diplomat who suggested she could become his 4th wife. All of it was really starting to get on Sam's nerves a little. She was not some weakling that needed protection, and the team knew that. After about 3 weeks she finally spoke up and announced to all of SG1 as they were about to walk through the gate "If one of you do anything thing on this mission that treats me for a second as anything less than your equal you will find yourself singing soprano tonight."

All 3 men looked at Sam, then each other, and then shrugged. They knew she was right. That was 3 weeks ago, and as much as she had meant what she said, Sam suddenly felt the need to be protected.

Sam had been feeling "off" for a few weeks now. At first it was just nausea. She did not actually throw up, just felt like she would, especially when she smelt coffee. She was also so tired, really she felt like she just needed to sleep for a week, and she never needed sleep. And well, her breasts were just sore. At first she thought it was a flu that would not go away, but this morning as she looked in her bathroom cupboard she noticed something, or more specifically, a lack of something. She had not needed to use... ohhh crap. When had she last had her period. Sam counted the days, no weeks, in her mind. 9 weeks. How had she not noticed until this morning. She looked at herself in the mirror. The face that looked back at her was full of concern. She needed to know before she lost her head what the situation was, and she did not want the medical staff at SG to think she was crazy, so she determined that she would buy a test on the way to work this morning, and then if she was... well then she could panic.

It was around 2pm before Sam got the chance to give herself the test. She sat in a stall at SG headquarters and waited. This was going to be the longest 2 minutes of her life. She stared at the stick. If it had 1 pink line then life was great. Life would be fine and uncomplicated, but if a second line appeared, there would be trouble ahead. So Sam waited her 2 minutes, took a deep breath and looked at the test.

4 hours later Jack sat in the conference room waiting to be dismissed after the latest mission briefing. General Hammond had just gotten up and Daniel and Teal'c followed him out. He was about to do the same when he realised that Carter had hardly spoken a word in the briefing, and looked, well, distracted, and that was not like Carter. "Major" Jack had said quietly. He had gotten no response. "Major Carter" he said louder. Still nothing, now he was worried. He leaned across the table towards her and looked into her face.

"Carter" He lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him. He was shocked, her eyes were red. She had been crying during the mission briefing and no one had noticed. "Carter" he spoke in a tender voice "what's wrong?"

She raised her eyes to meet his, a few tears falling silently down her face "Pink lines Sir, there were 2" she let out in a sob.

Jack looked at her, no idea what she was saying. "Major.. i don't" but he was cut off.

"I'm pregnant" she stated in a flattened voice as her eyes met his, and he saw pure fear.


	6. What?

**Chapter 11**

"Your what" Jack had almost yelled.

"I'm pregnant Sir" She replied.

"When did you find out" He asked unable to keep eye contact. He did not know she was seeing anyone at the moment.

"This morning. I must be 8 weeks along". She was still speaking in a monotone voice.

"8 weeks, in sick bay you said you had not... fuck" He muttered under his breath.

"That just about explains it Sir." She half laughed.

Jack walked over to Sam, and held her hand. "Has Dr Fraiser confirmed it" he asked honestly.

"No" was all she could say.

Jack took her hand and pulled her out of the seat, patted her on the shoulders and said "well, lets get it over with then". He then led her to sick bay.

Once there Colonel O'Neill felt the need to stay. He had not protected her on the planet, but he could be there for he now. After running some simple test Janet came in and confirmed Sams fears, she was pregnant.

"Major" Janet asked, trying to be professional. "The timing would indicate that this is a result of..." she did not want to spell it out.

"Is there anyway to find out if it is even human Doc" O'Neill answered for Sam.

"I can do a dna test if you allow to do an amniocentesis, but its an invasive procedure. It will allow me to know for sure if it is human" Janet stated clearly and honestly.

"Do it Doc" Sam answered instantly. "At least then i will know before i decide to get rid of it".

"Colonel O'Neill" Janet motioned for him to leave the room.

"Huh" he looked a little surprised.

"You can not be here for this part Colonel" Sam looked him in the eyes as she said this. It was only then that he realised that he was holding her hand. When had he taken her hand? He remembered doing so in the conference room, he just did not realise that he had never let it go, and that was a hour ago. He looked at Sam, nodded, dropped her hand and left the room.

"Fuck" he moaned at himself as he waited outside sick bay. He looked down at his hand. What was he doing, he walked with her, and then sat beside her bedside, holding her hand, and not even noticed he was doing so. God... he must be stupid, or worried, or... there was no other reason he could admit, not even to himself. He walked off to see what work he could do, no use standing outside in a hallway he thought to himself.

2 hours later Jack got a call to report to sick bay.

He walked in to see Sam still sitting in bed.

"Janet wont give me the results until you were here Sir" Cater spoke "she seemed to think it was important". Sam was annoyed. Why did her CO need to be here for this personal moment. O'Neill looked at annoyed as she was.

Janet looked at both Sam and Jack, she was weary, and this was going to be an uncomfortable conversation. "I want to confirm Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill that you stated you have no memory of your time of PX7-835."

"None whatsoever" and "no" the two answered in turn, getting even more frustrated.

"I have to ask, is there anything personal, anything that has happened between the two of you?"

They looked at each other for the briefest second "We have not done anything wrong" Cater stated a little sadly.

"I am her CO Dr, i would not do anything thing to endanger SG1" O'Neill offered.

Janet looked at the two of them again, hoping everyone would believe them, because God knows, right now she was not sure she did. "Major Carter, I can confirm that you are pregnant, and that the fetus is human. I took the liberty of checking the fetus DNA against military records, and i found a match."

Sam felt relieved that the fetus was human, even though in the last hour she had determined that an abortion would be the best option for her, and she felt angry that someone in the military had drugged her planet side.

"Tell me the name of the son of a bitch that did this to Carter Doc, i think he is going to get a little visit from me and the rest of SG1" O'Neill commanded, his voice containing barely concealed rage.

Janet felt relief at O'Neill anger, it meant they had not lied to her "You won't have to go far Colonel. The DNA that matched the fetus is yours." She could have heard a pin drop until both of the people in front of her yelled "What?"


	7. Is that what you think of me

**Chapter 12**

About 30 minutes later, Jack, Sam and Janet all sat in General Hammond's office, about to share some very uncomfortable news. Janet was concerned. In sick bay both of the Jack and Sam had strongly denied that anything had happened, that they would not do what she accused them of, but Janet had now the proof that they did. After protesting their innocence both had stared at each other.

Sam could not believe what she was hearing, her and... O'Neill. She stared at him, her eyes hoping to see.. she did not know what. How could he have slepted with her? As if reading her mind he stammered out "I don't remember Cater, I can't believe I would..."

"You would what Sir?" She taunted him angrily. Drug me and fuck me". She bit out with venom. "I thought you would have the sense to at least pull out Sir, that way you would not get caught". Sam was losing it and she knew it. Her mind was racing at 100 miles an hour. She had just accused Colonel O'Neill of practically raping her. The look on his face devastated her.

"Cater, if after 5 years thats what you think of me..." He did not know what else to say.

Each looked at the other, lost and desperate. Jacks mind was racing too. How could he? He would not ever... but... there was no other conclusion to be drawn. He had slept with Carter. After a few minets of silence carter stammered out in an emotional voice,

"How am I even pregnant? I'm on the SGC mandated birth control for active field agents."

With that piece of news Janet's head popped up from behind her clipboard where she had focused her energy, trying to give the Colonel and Major a moment of privacy. "Thats it" Janet exclaimed.

"What is" Sam questioned back.

"The unknown compound, i know what it is now" Janet answered relieved.

"Care to share Doc" Jack answered, his eyes still downcast, unable to confront either he Major's or Doc's.

"It was a stimulant, i knew that, but i did not know what kind of stimulant, but it counteracted your birth control Major, it had to be a stimulant that altered your fertility! You too Colonel, you had the same compound broken down in your body". The words flowed out of Janet quickly.

"I don't get it" Jack stumbled.

"Janet is saying that both of us were drugged Sir. She is saying the only way I got pregnant is because someone or something wanted us to." There was relief is Sam's voice. "She is saying that what happened must have been out of the control of both of us Colonel"

"Oh" was all Jack could manage, elated that whatever had happened on PX7-835, he had not just used Sam, They had both been used.

And that is why they now sat in General Hammonds office about to tell him that the 2IC of his flagship team was pregnant to its commanding officer. "Yep" Jack thought to himself, this is going to go well. Even internally he rolled his eyes.


	8. Is so hard to believe?

**Chapter 13**

Hammond sat behind his desk and glared at the 3 officers before him. He knew something was up, he just did not know what. "OK, out with it." He practically bellowed.

Sam took in a deep breath. "I am going to need to be taken off active duty Sir" Her eyes downcast as she spoke.

"What on earth for Major?" The general questioned.

"I'm pregnant Sir" Sam looked up at Hammond.

Here Janet interrupted, "We know it is a result of the contact on PX7-835. I also can now tell you that the stimulant both the Major and Colonel were given increased fertility, and by looking closely at the hormone levels of both when they returned, probably their arousal levels too".

Hammond at first said nothing, then looked at both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill in turn. "Are you saying that Colonel O'Neill is the father of Major Carters child?"

"Foetus Sir, i don't think there will be a child" Jack's head turned immediately from the General to Carter as she said this. His face was neutral, but he felt terrified, and he did not know why. "But yes, that is what Dr Fraiser is saying."

Hammond glared at Jack. "Doctor Fraiser, can you please leave my office. I know we have a lot to discuss, but there are a few things i need to ask the Colonel and the Major alone". Janet nodded her head, giving Sam and Jack a quiet look of reassurance, and walked out the door.

General Hammond sat there staring at the CO and 2IC of his flagship team. "Rather convenient don't you think?" Hammond stated as the two officers looked at him blankly. "I mean the whole of the Stargate program suspects that there is something going on between you two. I have seen the looks, i know about the Zatarc testing, not to mention those alternate realities where you just happen to be a couple... and then you disappear for 4 days of a deserted planet, claiming to have no memory."

Shocked that the General is doubting her Sam softly defends, "It is the truth Sir, no matter how convenient it may sound."

"Still, here we are 2 months later and you Major, are pregnant with your CO's child. Something inappropriate must have happened." Then in a soft but firm voice it muttered, "I thought i could trust you both to be professional despite what i suspect are you feelings for each other"

Hammond explained. "Do you understand the significance of what this means. What it is going to do to your careers?"

"I do Sir, but you have to believe me, both the Colonel and I have no memory of the events, as Dr Frasier explained, we must have been both under some kind of drug." Sam's eyes were begging for Hammond to believe her.

"How do you expect me to believe that Major Carter? How do you think the president is going to react when i tell him this, not to mention your fellow staff here at the SCG? Your story is unbelievable. You should have told us what happened when you returned, at least that way i could have had one of you transferred out of each others command chain." General Hammond was looking at Sam, and although his voice was even, it was obvious he was angry.

"Permission to speak freely Sir". Jack had until this point been sitting silently. He did not know what disturbed him more, that Carter had implied that she was not going to keep the baby, or that General Hammond was questioning their loyalty and honesty. Either way, Jack felt like a pot about to boil over. He was furious.

"Granted Colonel" was Hammonds reply.

"You can believe what you want... Sir" The Sir was added as an afterthought. "All i can tell you is that as far as i knew, until the doc told me today that Carter was pregnant with my child i had no idea i had slept with her." Sam looked into Jack's face as he talked, she could tell he was barely holding back his own anger. "But Sir, this is far from convenient, and Major Carter and I have broken no rules that we remember. I don't see how you could think this was something we planned." His voice was starting to get agitated. "That i would risk Major Carter's and my own careers, when i have put nothing other than but the Air Force first for the last 20 odd years" His anger was starting to show through. "That i would place the Stargate program in danger for my own selfish desires when we all know the danger that exists in the Universe." There were tears in his eyes now. "That i would get a woman pregnant after losing my son, without discussing it with her first, heck, Carter does not even what to keep it, do you think it is convenient that i lose another child?" Jack knew he was about to cross a line and he did not care, he usually was about to keep his emotions to himself, but the events of the last hour were getting to him. First that Carter was pregnant, second, that it was his child and three, that his friend George, who he respected and trusted thought he would break this regulation. "Trust me Sir" he was screaming now "if i was going to risk all that just to fuck Carter, i would make sure i actually remembered it afterward!" He stared at the General in the face for a good 30 seconds the room was silent, his words and actions surprising even himself. He had lost control, and now he was angry at himself. He took a breath, not believing the way he had just spoken to the General, leaned back in his seat, head tilted back with eyes closed. "I'm sorry Sir".

General Hammond sat staring at O'Neill, humbled by the display he had just seen. "I believe you Jack". Hammond rarely used his first name, so Jack sat forward in his chair and looked at him. "Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill, i apologize for my accusations. I needed to make sure. I will not be the only person who will accuse you of an inappropriate relationship, so you better get used to it." He nodded to himself more than at them. "I will defend you both if the situation deems it necessary, and you are quite correct Major, you can not be on active duty with SG1 at the moment. Should you choose to not... continue with the pregnancy, then you can return to SG1 immediately. If you choose another path, then that will require more thought. You are both dismissed, and SG1 is being given 7 days leave."

Jack nodded, all his energy drained from him. He stood and without a look or word to either inhabitant of the room he walked out the door.

"Thank you Sir, i will let you know what i decide." Sam smiled as she left the room.

By the time Sam had walked out of Hammonds office the Colonel had disappeared. She wondered if he even remembered what he had just said. His selfish desire he had said. Sam had almost gasped when it said that. He desired her, he wanted to remember being with her. That thought, as impossible as it was excited her.

In a moment of anger he had let his guard down, he had let her see what he was thinking. Then shock hit Sam "ohhh God, his Son" she thought to herself. Sam's hands drifted down to her still flat abdomen. She walked until she found a bathroom with a mirror and after making sure no one else was there she lifted her top so she could see her stomach. She looked her body, it did not look any different, silently she wondered, why did it have to be different. Sam knew she was not ready for this, that there was no way in hell she could have a child right now. It would ruin her career, and she never wanted to be a single mother. She ran her hands over her skin, resting softly on where the foetus lay. "Why did it have to be his?" She spoke softly to the empty room. She was going to break his heart. She thought, why did Janet have to tell either of us it was his. Sam knew what she had to do, they needed to talk.


	9. It is up to you Carter

**Chapter 14**

Jack had also most ran out of the mountain the second his meeting with Hammond was over. He just needed some time to himself, and it was almost the end of his shift anyway. He had gotten into his truck and started driving. It was not until he was about 5 miles out that he let tears fall down his face.

That Cater was not planning to have the child was clear, and he understood that. Why should she have to give up her career for something they don't even remember doing. It would be worse for her than it was him. He had put forward for her promotion,if the rumours started, and they would, he would be the CO that got away with sleeping with his 2IC, she would be the slut that slept her way to the top.

Not to mention the effect this would have on her personal life. She would have to let everyone know she was pregnant, probably let them know that he was the father, go through all the changes to her body had in stall for her in the next 7 months, and after all that, have a baby to care for. He understood her hesitancy to continue with the pregnancy.

"Fuck" he moaned to the car. Why did Janet tell him the child was his? He should be supporting Carter in her choice, but instead he just felt like he was going to lose another child, only he would never have the chance to meet this one.

90 minutes later he sat on the couch in his dimly lit house. Night had fallen but he found that he just did not have the energy to get up and turn the lights on. It was then he heard a soft knock at the door. "Go away, i am not interested in what ever it is you're selling."

"I'm not selling anything Sir, but i would like to come in" He heard her voice, calm yet hesitant on the other side of his front door. He sighed to himself, of course she had come to see him. He had been coward and he knew it. Slowly he dragged himself off the couch and walk towards the door.

She was standing there in civies, something he rarely got to see. He thought to himself, that even exhausted in jeans and a sweater, she looked beautiful. Unfortunately, she also looked afraid. He gestured for her to come in. She nodded her head in reply. Jack shut the door behind her. ans they stood looking at each other in the hallway.

"So... drink Carter?" was all he could stammer out. "Not beer though i guess." he added as an afterthought.

"A tea would be good Sir." she suggested.

Jack walked into the kitchen and made two cups of tea. She had looked at him as he did so but not said a word. He guessed that neither of them had any idea of what to say. After a few minutes he handed her the cup, and said "couch?"

Sam looked at him as he handed her the cup. "Another addition to your elegant tastes Sir?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood a little as she looked at the Mr. Perfect cup he had handed her.

"Well, just be glad i gave you Mr. Perfect and gave myself Mr. Grumpy" He smiled, but Sam could tell the smile never made it to his eyes. She walked over to the couch and they sat facing each other. They sat only a few inches apart, but they could have been on either side of the universe. "So..." Jack looked down into his cup, "No matter how much i like to pretend Carter, I am no idiot. I know why you are here, and i know the options before you."

Sam could not help herself, she silently stroked her hand across her stomach. "I know you are far smarter than you let on Sir..." She looked up at him, her hand still in place, "So, it seems that somehow we broke the regulations and slept with each other."

"Seems so" He answered but with a self conscious laugh.

"And that you got me pregnant" she plainly stated.

"It would appear so". He was keeping his answers to a minimum, not wanting to hurt her by saying more.

"Sir" she sighed, putting her cup down on the table and reaching forward for his hand. He looked up into her strong blue eyes, and was spellbound. He gave her hand a little squeeze to affirm to her that he understood they needed to talk.

"Its just i never thought we would be in this situation Carter. We left everything in the room." He was still staring into her eyes.

"I know Sir, but here we are" She looked at him for a moment. "How do you feel Sir?"

"I don't know" he stammered back. "The only thing i know is that i am here for you, and i will always be here for you." There was honesty is his eyes.

She looked into those eyes, knowing that the next sentence was going to hurt him deeply. "I don't think i can have this child Sir..." She waited for him to respond, all he did was look down. "Jack?"

"I understand Sam" he said looking back into her eyes. She could see his silent tears.

"As i said, i understand how hard this is for you, and i don't think this is a choice you would make lightly." He looked down where he knew his child lay. He wanted to reach forward, to just touch it once, but he knew if he did that, she would feel even more guilty than she already did. "I will support you in whatever you choose Cater. If you have the child i will support you to the best of my ability, both financially and emotionally. If on the other hand you choose not to go ahead" he could not bring himself to say abortion "then i will welcome you back to SG-1 in a heartbeat." Sam stared at him, he was calm, emotional, and heartbreakingly honest. He then shocked her by what he said next. "You are the most amazing person i know Carter." He looked down where she still held her hand, holding it a little tighter "nothing you say or do will lose you my friendship." There, he had said all that he had intended to say. He would support her in her choice, no matter if it meant he would never get over the guilt.

"Do you want this child Jack" She questioned.

"It is not how i planned having another child Sam, but if i was to have another baby, then i would be honoured by you to being his or her Mother. No child could be any luckier." He smiled genuinely at her.

Sam sat silent, slowly rubbing his hand with you fingers. She looked at him and then closed the gap to lean against him. She shut her eyes as he bent his head down to give her a soft kiss on her forehead. He was letting her sit with her thoughts. Letting her make the decision that could change their lives forever. They sat there like that, her hand still in his as she rested against him, neither speaking for over an hour. It felt so intimate, so honest between them. There had been no screaming, no anger or hatred and no lies. He was the best man she knew, and thats what made what she had to say so hard. He may be there for her financially and emotionally, but they could never break the regulations, and they could not leave the Stargate program either.

"I can't do it Sir, i can't have the child." She said eventually with tears in her voice.

"I know Carter, otherwise you would have not sat here for the last hour trying to convince yourself that you could. " He turned to look at her, and then wrapped his arm around her, enveloping her in his strong arms, as tears fell from her eyes to his shoulders.

After that moment Carter said she needed to go home, and he had not argued. The next day she informed him that she would be having the procedure in 3 days, at Friday, 10 am. As they were both on leave they did not see or speak to each other over, it was just too hard. Jack had drank himself stupid the first day. He had got got his photo album and had tortured himself by looking at the photos of his son. It was one of the worst days of his life, but he did not blame Carter. She could not know the true depth of the guilt he was feeling, she had never lost anything as precious before. He only hope to hell she did not regret this in the years to come.

As friday morning came around Jack knew three things to be true. He wanted this child, he was still in love with his 2IC and that he needed to be there for her today. He got into his truck and drove to her place. He sat in his car and waited for her to come out. 9:15 she walked out her front door and to her shock saw Jack in his car, waiting for her.

"Hop in Carter" he bellowed "I not letting you drive alone to this".

She was grateful. She knew he wanted this child so had not asked him to come along, but here he was anyway. She felt like a knife was stabbing her heart, reminding her of her of the wonderful self sacrificing man he was. She got into his truck and they drove in silence to the clinic. Half an hour later he pulled into the car park and turned off the engine. He had planned to go in with her but he could not bring himself to do it. Sam understood when she saw his hands gripping the steering wheel. She leaned in and gave him a soft, chaste kiss on the cheek. He flinched, and she saw how hard it was for him to hold himself together.

"I'll be here when you're done" was all he could say. Sam Nodded "OK" and got out of the car. The second she had walked into the doors of the clinic he lost himself in grief. He slammed his body against the dashboard and cried.

After a while he heard a knock on his passenger window, it was Carter. He had fallen asleep, and so calmer than he had been, he opened the door to let her in. In silence she sat in the seat and shut the trucks door. It was then he noticed she was crying. Tears streaming down her face.

"Carter, it will be ok i promise." He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away and continued to cry. Jack sat in silence staring at her, unsure what to do or how to help her cope with what she had just done. "Sam" he begged.

"I could not do it Sir" She yelled out between the tears. Jack felt his heart stop. Sam turned to face him. "I could not do it to you, i could not make you lose another child." Sam reached forward, took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"What?" he asked not believing what he was hearing.

"I'm still pregnant" she said calmer. "The second Janet said it was your baby I should have know there was no way I could of had an abortion."

Jack started at her, not hoping to believe, but he saw the truth in her face.

"Ohhh thank God" was all he could manage as he reached forward, hugging her tightly and then leaning down to cry in her lap and kiss where his child still lay, alive and safe.


	10. The drive home

**Chapter 15**

Sam sat there watching her commanding officer crying. It was the first time she had ever seen him show any real outward emotion. Her tears were still falling down her face and she knew as he kissed her stomach that she had made the right choice. Jack may have thought that he could have supported her if she had gone through with the abortion, but he would have never forgiven her. She knew that for sure now.

Jack as if he suddenly realised what he was doing eased himself off Carter's lap. "Sorry" was all he could say. Sam mumbled back "Its ok", as he turned back to drive the car. He wiped a few tears from his eyes and he turned on the engine.

The rest of the car ride back to Carter's house was in silence. Each had so much going on inside their minds though, that neither really noticed. Sam was thinking about her future, about how she had just made a choice that would change her life forever. She was choosing to keep Colonel O'Neill's child. He was still her CO, she knew how badly this would look on her record. Even more terrifyingly she was going to be a Mother. This child was going to be dependant on her. Whatever role Colonel O'Neill would play, there was no going back on her word to him now, she was going to have to give up so much. Yet, she wondered would it be worth it?

O'Neill could barely keep a coherent thought in his head, even driving the car was difficult. She had kept the baby. At first he could not, would not believe her. He had worked so hard tp keep it together for her, that when she told him the truth he just fell apart. The grieving he had already done for this child spilled out of him and he had fallen, kissing the child within her. He knew how inappropriate it was, but in that instant he did not care, he could not have hidden his feelings, even though he had wanted to. He would have his chance to be a father again, with Carter as his or her child's Mother. He had no idea how they would work it out, he only knew that they had to.

As Jack pulled into Carter's driveway he looked over at her, hand resting on the ignition, waiting to be asked in, but not wanting to seem pushy. He knew that they needed to talk before they went back to work in two days. Sam took the hint "Sir, i think i feel like pancakes, care to help me make them?"

Jack turned off the car and went inside, there was plenty of time to talk later, pancakes came first.

They made and ate the pancakes in almost silence, then Sam finally got the courage to ask him the question she had in her mind ever since they had left the clinic. She just came out plainly and asked "How you see this working Sir?"

"Carter, if i knew the answer to that…. well lets just say i would be pretty happy" he sighed.

Carter smiled, glad in the knowledge that she was not the only one who had no clue what to do.

"First things first, Hammond said he is happy for you to work in the lab and that big brain of yours is too important to lose from the stargate program, so I guess come Monday morning you ask to be reassigned there. That way you can keep an eye on Daniel and Teal'c, you know make sure they don't get into too much trouble. Who knows when we'll need you to blow up a star again". Jack laughed.

Sam rolled her eyes, he was never going to let her forget that. "Ok Sir, that sounds like a good start, and speaking on Daniel and Teal'c, we should tell them about the baby this weekend before we go back, since SG-1 is going to be down a member."

"Fine, but i can I at least draw in out to torture Danny Boy?"

"Go ahead… but Sir, i think that is all we should tell." She spoke nervously.

"Why, your already almost 3 months pregnant, we are going have to make an announcement soon, why wait, i say we explain that we got affected by some unknown drug while awy on a mission and that you are pregnant"

"You are right about one thing Sir, i am going to have to make an announcement soon, but I need some time to adjust to being pregnant. When I can no longer dress around it I will tell people, but until then, Hammond can just assign me due to scientific necessity."

Sam looked away from him, and he knew there was more she wanted to say.

"Spit it out Carter" he commanded.

"I don't think we should tell people that you are the Father when we do tell them I'm pregnant." She saw him balk at this and start to argue against her suggestion. "Just listen a minute Sir. I am not asking you to deny this child, i know that you could never do that. Our friends will know, but how can I tell my brother that I am pregnant with my CO's child? How do you tell the officers under you that we broke frat rules, do you really think they would believe us if we told them it was due to a drug." Her eyes pleaded with him. "What do you think people would say about us if they found out?"

"I don't fucking care what they think Carter, this is my child" He was angry now.

"Sir. please see this reasonably. I won't lie, but when people ask how this happened, I will say it happened as the result of a one time thing but that I could not bring myself to fix the problem. That I know who the Father of the child is, but that he and I are no longer involved. If they want to know any more I will tell them that it is none of their business what i do once i leave to go home at the end of the day" she explained.

Jack could see the reason in her argument but he wanted people to know that this was his child, he did not want to hide in the shadows. "Sam, you are being unfair…"

She interrupted him. "Sir, are you still my CO?"

"Yes" he said belligerently.

"Do the fraternisation regulations still apply to us?"

"Yes" He moaned, a more serious tone in his voice.

"Will people try and use this pregnancy against the stargate program, will it damage so much of what we have worked towards?"

He looked her in the face, searching her blue eyes "Yes"

"Can the fact that I am pregnant with your child be public knowledge?" Looking deep into his brown eyes, she knew she had finally made him see reason.

"No" he said softly and sadly.

With that Sam scooted over to Jack and took his hand. She intertwined her fingers with his. "I am not ashamed that this is your child Jack…" she paused, hoping that by using his name, he knew she was being serious and honest. "If I had to accidentally fall pregnant by someone while on a mission I am glad it was you…" He smiled at Sam as she spoke. "Who knows what kind of a nerd I would have produced with Daniel, at least our kid will have a fighting chance of being able to talk like a normal person"

Jack could not help but laugh a little. He nodded his head and lifted her hand in his until it touched briefly against his lips. "Fine Carter… but if I see this kid calls anyone other than me Dad there will be hell to pay." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and let it go. "Now… what kind of shenanigans can I pull in telling Daniel?" His eyes sparkled as he looked at her.


	11. The devil's in the details

**Chapter 15**

"So Daniel, why don't you come over for a BBQ for lunch today?" O'Neill asked innocently down the phone. He knew that both he and Carter needed to tell the rest of SG-1 about the pregnancy, but he had decided that he was going to a little fun with it

"Why" Daniel asked cautiously.

"Because we have all had a week off work and I would like to catch up with my friends" he rebutted.

"Ok then… should I bring anything?" Daniel asked.

"Only Teal'c, told him you would be there in 30 minutes" Jack said with a smile as Daniel sighed in agreement down the phone. "See you soon Danny Boy". Jack put down the phone. He was going to enjoy this.

An hour and a half later everything was going well and the whole of SG-1 was sitting around their commanding officers table, laughing, drinking and in general enjoying themselves. Jack had told Carter to pretend that everything was normal, he wanted to see how long it would take Daniel to notice that Sam was not joining them in a beer, but so far he had been oblivious, throwing a spanner in Jack's plan. Time for plan B.

"So… the three of you are probably wondering why I asked you to come over today" He started. Carter looked up at him, asking him with her eyes if this was really necessary.

"I wondered what was going on" Daniel rolled his eyes.

"I too was in wonder O'Neill" Teal'c spoke.

Sam had no idea where Jack was going with this, but after the last few days choose to play along. "Its not every Sunday you get an invite to your CO's place for a BBQ"

"Well, the truth is I have something to tell you all. A few months ago I slept with a junior officer in the Stargate program in a drug filled haze. A few days ago she told me she is pregnant, and a paternity test proved it was my child. She has chosen to have the child, so in about seven months I am going to be a father again, but it also means that there are going to have to be some major changes at work, you know, fraternisation rules and all". Jack said seriously.

"O'Neill, this is not what I expected." Teal'c answered while staring at his friend.

"Yeah well, sometimes things happen, I guess I got a little carried away" Jack gave an impish grin.

"Carried away" Daniel interrupted. "You could get caught marshalled for this, what the hell were you thinking. Why the hell did you sleep with some random girl" All Daniel could think was that if Jack was going to break the rules it should have been with Sam, ohh God, how must she be feeling.

"Lust, i guess" Jack smiled, knowing he had caught Daniel, hook line and sinker. "That and the fact that she has a killer ass. You have no idea how many times I have stood behind her thinking, ohhh, I just want a piece of that." Jack could not help himself glance at Cater here. She rolled her eyes with a smile on her face so he continued. "And you know what else, you have no idea the dreams i have had about her, I wonder if I can work on those dreams now, its not like she can get any more pregnant".

"How can you be making jokes Jack, this is serious" Daniel looked at him puzzled.

It was at this point Sam decided to also make Daniel suffe also, it was just a little bit of payback for all the times he had questioned her about her feelings for her CO, and she also thought she better stop O'Neill talking, because she had started to wonder what was in those dreams of his. "Sir, I think it would be for the best if I resigned from SG-1. I don't think I will be able to work with you in the current situation". Her voice sounded harsh and unforgiving, but Jack saw the twinkle in her eye and knew they were on the same page.

Jack looked at her for a second. Then seriously answered "If you no longer wish to work with me Major Carter I understand, i will ask for you to be transferred right now. Excuse me, I need to go call General Hammond"

"O'Neill, does that not seem a little rash to you. Perhaps Major Carter needs a few hours to change her mind." Teal'c suggested.

"Nooo, she clearly wants to leave the team, so, let her go then". He took a few more steps inside, as if to grab his phone.

"Jack" Daniel almost squealed "Come back here and talk to us,what has come over you? Sam cant really want to leave"

"I think I have to Daniel, Teal'c, I am sorry, but due to Colonel O'Neill's actions I must leave SG-1". At ths Sam stood up, as if she was leaving. She had spoken with genuine sadness.

Daniel was dumbfounded, Jack was going to get court martialed and Sam wanted to leave the team. "Everyone sit back down" he almost ordered. Looking back and forth from Sam to Jack. They both seemed sad he realised, even underneath the joking as they sat down next to each other.

After about 30 seconds Teal'c spoke. "Samantha Carter" He had suddenly noticed something that Daniel had not. "Are you feeling unwell"

"I am fine Teal'c" She answered, thankful that one of them was finally catching on.

"It is just that I have noticed that you have been ill over the last few weeks."

"Its just a passing thing Teal'c" she smiled a little.

"I also noticed that you have not touched your beer today. Are you not thirsty?" Teal'c questioned.

"I am a little thirsty, only I am unable to have beer at the moment". A smile was creeping across both her and Jack's faces.

"I would think hearing what going on, this would be the perfect time to have not only one beer but several" With this Daniel took a sip of his own beer and thought…."Unless".

"Ahhh, here it comes" Jack laughed a little.

"Unless the reason you need to leave SG-1 Samantha" he was staring at her face and then Jack's "is because the woman this Jackass got pregnant is you."

"Finally, took you long enough Daniel, I thought you were meant to be a genius or something". Jack laughed.

Daniel raised his hand pointing to Sam "You, you're pregnant… with his…" he pointed to Jack "seriously?"

"Yep" Jack answered for them both as Sam had broken down into fits of laughter at the look on Daniel's face.

"Just wish I remembered doing it" Jack spoke as he too laughed.

"Huh" Daniel stuttered out.

For the next hour Sam and Jack told Daniel and Teal'c the story. About being drugged and not remembering, being doubted by Hammond and Janet, and finally deciding to have the child, but to keep his paternity a secret so to not harm the Stargate program. After all was discussed it was time for the boys to go home. Both had hugged them tightly and wished them all the best. It was not really congratulations, but how could it be in their situation.

"If you need anything Sam, I am here for you" Daniel had said to her as he was leaving. He knew that this was going to be so hard on her.

After the Daniel and Teal'c left, Jack poured Sam a glass of water as she had sat down at the kitchen table and asked her. "So, tomorrow we tell Hammond that you want a transfer. Do you know where too?""

"Research and development would be best, that way I can stay in my lab on base, be nearby in case I am needed." She looked up at him, her eyes betraying that she needed to be near all three of the men in her life to get through this. Sam was under no illusion how hard the choice she had made was going to be.

"Well… Major Dr Samantha Carter… you will always be needed." For just a second he forgot he was still her CO, even after her transfer goes through, as he is the 2IC of the base. He bent down and looked her in her eyes, and leant in to softly kiss her forehead, before resting his own forehead against hers.

She felt his lips resting against her and felt emotion welling up inside her, then for about two minutes he rested against her, neither saying a word, but so much being communicated. She loved him. There was no doubt in her mind, but this had to stop, they were in dangerous territory. She knew that nothing could happen between them now, people would never believe the truth if it did. "Sir" she managed to whisper out.

"I know Major" he answered softly as he leaned back. "I think it is time for you to go home" He took her hands in his as he stood, pulling her up with him. "Good night Carter" He looked away, dropping her hands and hiding his face.

"Goodnight Sir" she said as she left the room, and walked outside to her car.


	12. lab rats in a maze

**Chapter 16**

It was two months later and Sam was getting dressed to go to work. When Hammond had announced that she was temporarily being assigned to research and being removed from active duty due to medical reasons no one had thought twice. After all, in the type of work she was in, people did get injured all the time, but as the weeks dragged on people had started to wonder why she was not yet back on active duty.

Since she was back to being a lab geek, Sam could wear whatever she wanted to work. This meant that she could dress to hide her growing belly. Hours later as she stood in her lab she subconsciously reached down to touch it, rubbing it gently. Soon people would know, as her bump was getting hard to hide, but at the moment she enjoyed the fact that no one other than SG-1, Hammond, Janet and a few higher ups knew the truth.

Jack had been standing and looking at her for a few moments, unable to take his eyes away from her hands. He wished that he could reach out and touch her, to feel where his child was growing, but they needed to be so careful. The truth was he had barely touched her for the last two months. It was safer that way, less tempting. He was feeling a little left out though. Since they were still keeping her pregnancy and his paternity a secret at the moment, Jack could not risk going to the doctors with Sam. He was glad though that she did not go alone. Both Janet and Daniel had gone with her. He was glad they both had such good friends supporting them. Sam was starting to show, even though she had tried to dress around it, he could see it. He wondered what the toll the pregnancy would be having on her, he knew that she really ought to be taking better care of herself. It was already almost 8pm, and he would bet anything that she had not yet stopped for dinner.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked innocently from the doorway.

"Trying to discover what the latest artifact you brought me does" Sam answered cheerfully. She looked up with a big smile. She loved tinkering with her toys, and when Jack came to visit, well, she could not help but smile.

"It's almost 8 you know, have you eaten or even had a rest since lunch?" he prodded gently. "You have to take care of yourself and…. well you just need to take care".

"Sir… i don't need a lecture" she half moaned.

"No, you're right Major, you don't, what you need is dinner". With that comment Jack brought his hands forward and showed Sam that he had two sandwiches and drinks behind his back. "Or at least what I could carry". Jack walked over to her bench and placed the sandwiches down for her to choose from, and pulled a chair up so they were both sitting on opposite sides of the desk.

They ate chatting easily about their relative weeks. She was working on 3 different projects, and he had been on a peaceful planet making first contact with a society with similar technology to the 1800's here on Earth. All was going well until Jack mentioned that "he missed having her watch his six."

"That might have to wait a while Sir" Sam stared at him with a small, sad, smile, and he knew, she still wanted to be there too. As much as she enjoyed her lab work, she missed the action of SG-1.

Jack leaned in a little closer "How is everything going" he said so softly she could barely hear him, "I mean, is everything OK?"

He had such a worried look on his face, she knew how hard this was for him. "I am fine Sir, everything is going well, but i feel I am going to have to tell people in the next few days that I am pregnant."

"Hmm" He looked down at her stomach. "I could see you touching it earlier" she stated while pointing down, "I can see the bump now from across the room" she looked surprised "only because I know it is there" he added in haste. "But you are right, it can not be hidden for much longer, are you ready for what comes next?"

"I am" Sam answered with strength in her voice. "Sir…" She hesitated, looking around to see if they were truly alone "do you want to feel it?"

She had asked such a simple question. He looked up at her and grinned the biggest smile she had ever seen from him. Jack nodded his head. Sam reached down to lift her shirt up a little, leaving about 10 cm of bare skin that Jack could see. Tentatively he reached forward with his right hand and ran his fingers across her skin. It felt like the tension of the last two months were slipping away, only to be replaced by the electricity between them. He pressed his palm down against her skin, moving slowly from side to side. A few tears forming in his eyes. He could feel his child, he could feel Sam, the truth was he did not know what else he was allowed to feel.

Sam reached down and placed her hand over his, holding him against her bare skin. All at once she felt his joy, his protectiveness, his hurt and his hesitancy. As she held his hand she smiled. If nothing else, she knew that this child would have a father that loved it. After about 10 seconds she dropped her hand away. His remained a few seconds more, his touch so tender. Slowly his fingers dropped away, and she felt cold. Sam pulled her shirt back down into place.

"Thank you Major" He said gently.

"Its OK Colonel." She smiled.

"Good night Carter" he said as he stood up. "Don't stay too late now."

With that he left the lab, and Sam went back to work.


	13. Tank tops and showers

**Chapter 17**

Telling the rest of the stargate program that she was pregnant had been just as Sam had expected it to be. She just decided one day to no longer hide the fact that she was pregnant, and instead of dressing around her belly by wearing loose fitting tops and jackets, she decided to wear a tight tank top to work. Yep, no denying the belly was there now.

She had walked down the grey hallway to strange looks, and no one had said a word to her, but they all stared. For hours no one mentioned it, either too polite or too frightened by her rank to say anything. It was not until she went to the galley at lunchtime and Daniel sat down next to her, that anyone spoke to her.

"So… no longer hiding that you are pregnant I see" he said loud enough for those nearby to hear.

"Nope, no longer hiding, although i think I may have surprised a few people around here. I have been getting looked at as if its a gould inside me, not a baby" Sam ponded.

"Well, it is a parasite, just one that won't hopefully eat your soul" He laughed.

Later in the day, and back in the safety of her lab, one of her fellow geeks, an industrial chemist named Fiona finally got the courage to say "so I guess you will be here with us for at least the next few months then"

"It would seem so" Sam smiled awkwardly.

"How far along are you"

"Just under five months" Sam's hands reached down to touch her bump.

"Who is the father…" Fiona received no answer so tried to explain herself "it is just that none of us knew you were with someone at the moment, so we are just a little surprised that you are pregnant is all".

Sam knew that this question was coming, she knew everyone would want to know, not just to be noisy, but because these people cared for her. Well she thought, here goes nothing. Sam explained that the baby was result of a one night thing, and that her and the father are no longer together.

"Is he airforce?" Fiona asked.

Before Sam realised she answered "Yes he is." She then turned white, knowing she had said more than she had meant too. "I really don't want to discuss this anymore, just know that I am happy and that he will support me".

Fiona walked away, but Sam knew the rumors were about to begin.

**Chapter 18**

Later he had seen her, and hell, he could not help but get a goofy smile at the sight of her bump, not to mention that her larger breasts were shown off as well. At that thought Jack shook his head, berating himself for letting his mind wander. She did look wonderful though. "Carter" he bellowed down the hallway, and she stopped to talk to him. "All good?"

"Yes Colonel, you?" she replied.

"All good Major" He stood for a few moments looking down at her. He looked around, saw no one was within hearing and whispered into her ear "You look beautiful Carter".

Sam looked up shocked, but could see in his eyes he meant it. She had felt self conscious of her body all day, knowing everyone was looking at here, trying to figure everything out, while she just felt like a fatted calf on display. His eyes spoke of affection, and she thought for a moment passion. She blushed and he looked away embarrassed.

"Have a good day Major" he said as he walked down the hall.

Have a good day Major… ohhh she could kill that man sometimes Sam thought as she made her way back to the lab.

3 days later SG-1 minus the Major had been on a mission again. Nothing to exciting, an uninhabited planet, possible energy source, same old same old… apart from the mud. All 3 men were cover completely from head to toe in mud. When they had returned all Jack had wanted was a shower, and after poked and prodded by the good Dr. Janet, that was exactly what he was doing now. He enjoyed the feeling of the warm water against his skin as the caked on dirt flowed away. When he eventually turned of the water he heard a group of other men talking in the change room. Drying himself off he could not help but hear was they said to one another.

"Who would have thought she was such a slut, i mean a one night stand, if I had known she was that hard up I would have given it to her". An unfamiliar voice to Jack spoke.

Jack hated the way some of the men talked about women, once he was dry he would speak to him.

"I heard that the guy was in the Air Force like her, maybe they joined the mile high club" another voice Jack did not know said.

"And now she is knocked up, who do you reckon the father is?" the first voice asked.

"Who knows, some airman lucky enough to get fuck her. I wonder if those big blue eyes of her sparkle as she cums"

Jack was feeling truly disgusted now, about give these men a talking too they would never forget when it came to treating any women with disrespect. He was pulling on his pants when the next sentence stopped him in his tracks.

"I tell you what though, if I was the guy I would run for my life. Daniel and Teal'c are scary enough, but can you imagine what O'Neill would do to the man that got the women he can not have, pregnant?"

Sam… they were speaking this way about Sam. Jack saw red. He blasted out of the changing area and ran to the two, now terrified men.

"Right now gentlemen" he had spat out the last word "I would be more worried about what I am going to do to you." Jack looked at both of them, privates. He leaned in until he was only an inch from their faces. "How dare you talk about the Major like that, you have no idea what a wonderful, intelligent, caring and utterly amazing women she is. You want to fuck her son" he was screaming now "you are not good enough to wipe shit like you off her feet. Samantha Carter has saved this planet over and over and now, just because she finds herself pregnant you call her a slut! Not to mention boys, but she is in every way your superior officer." Jack was fighting hard to not hit either of the men before him. "What have you achieved other than being a blight on the honour of the air force!" Jack pushed one of the men back against the wall behind him, almost pinning him in place. He had lost control and he knew it. He took a deep breath and stood back. "Get out of here, both of you, and if i hear you ever talk about any women like that again, I promise you, you will be out of the program and dumped on a desert planted without food or water in only slightly longer time than it take to dial the gate". Jack took another step back, and the two men practically ran out of the room.

He had not been this angry in years. Not since Charlie died. He, Jack O'Neill, had lost his temper, lost control. It was then he knew how deeply he loved the women carrying his child. "Fuck" he moaned to a now empty room. He was is trouble.


	14. Letters and labs

**Chapter 19**

The next day General Hammond sat at his desk, looking again at the two letters that had been given to him. Had they planned this, or were they both just that stupid. He had summoned them a few minutes ago and now he just sat and waited to hear what they would have to say for themselves.

The major was the first to arrive, giving the General a slight nod and salute as she walked in.

"Please sit Major Carter" he said holding what she knew was her letter in his hand, but there was a second letter on his desk. What was he waiting for Sam thought to herself, and was answered when O'Neill also entered. He took one look at Hammond and Sam before he sat down.

"So, i assume this was a joint action" He stated.

"Sir" Carter questioned.

"Both of you handing me your resignation this morning…" Both Sam and Jack looked at Hammond and then at each other.

"What the hell are you thinking of, resigning, you have years in the Air Force before you, you could be a great General one day" Jack stared at her in shock.

"Me, what about you? The stargate program needs you, I can still work for it as a civilian scientist". Sam defended.

"So, stupid then, not planned… would either of you like to tell me why my best two offices both resigned this morning? Hammond questioned, although, he had his suspicions.

Both Jack and Sam were silent, as if daring the other to go first, but Hammond held his glare, just waiting for them to respond. Finally it was Sam who spoke. "General, I have never broken a Air Force regulation in my life, and I don't want to start now, but if I remain a Major here at stargate command…" Sam turned to look at Jack, her bright blue eyes shining, as if they were about to fill with tears "I think I will miss out on one of the most important things life could ever give me" Her hand drifted downward as she spoke to his child.

Jack spoke after a moment of stunned silence "Sir, I have broken plenty of regulations, and there is one is particular I have desperately wanted to break for at least two years now, but I could not risk Major Carter's career in doing so, so that is why this morning I handed you my resignation". He smiled at Sam. Finally, they both had, in a round about way, admitted they they wanted to be together, and both were willing to give up their careers to do so. Jack knew he could give it all up for her, but she had been the one to want to keep it all in the room, now, it seemed, she was ready too. Sam could not stop smiling, she was staring at Jack's face, which was studying her own. She had no idea what was coming next, but she knew she was ready.

"Ok…" Hammond declared "I do not accept either of your resignations" both officers turned to plead with him "wait" he held his hand up in defence "I want you both to stay in the Air Force but let me see if there is anyway we can… shall we say bend the rules" He gave a little smile. "Now, don't do anything rash… I will get back to ASAP, dismissed" The last was more like a command, and both Jack and Sam got to their feet and walked out of Hammond office, shutting the door behind them.

After a few steps Jack turned back to Sam and said "So… that just happened" a laughing lilt to his words.

"I think we need to talk Sir… my lab, 19:00?" Carter questioned.

"19:00 it is" He responded with a smile and walked off to continue with his day.

**Chapter 20**

It was 18:55 and Jack could swear he had never seen time pass so slowly, he he did not know better he could believe he was stuck in a time loop again. For the last hour he had constantly willed 19:00 to arrive. Now he stood outside the lad door, almost afraid to go in. He poked his head around the door to she that Carter was working hard and had not looked up or even noticed him yet. How the hell was she managing to work he thought to himself. He walked in, and standing about a meter away asked "Whatcha doin Carter"

She looked up "Waiting for you Sir."

He could not help but smile. He pulled up a chair next to her own and sat down. "Sooo…." he reached forward and held her hand. "You were willing to leave the Air Force to give us a try, its a pretty big step don't you think? I mean, we don't even know if we are compatable." He was slowly, tenderly massaging her hand in his.

"Sir, we have worked side by side for years and each time we have been there for each other, 24 x 7." She moved her hand that he was massaging and placed it on her bump. "and if there is one thing i know for sure, it is that we are very compatible." Sam looked up at him. "Sir… no… Jack… I love you".

That was all Jack needed to hear. He moaned out in a low voice "Sam…" He leaned over from his chair, and pressed his lips to her own. Softly, as if testing to see if she was ok with this. He then opened his mouth, biting gently her lower lip between his lips. Sam responded immediately opening her mouth, letting his tongue enter her. Slowly they sat there in her lab kissing, softly letting the other feel their way, every moment getting more intense. Finally it was Sam who broke away, Jack looked at her worried he had gone to far.

Sam stood up from her chair and moved over to his. She sat down straddling his lap. "How about we bend the rules a little" she said flirtatiously as she attacked his mouth with her own.

Moments ago had been a gentle, hesitant kiss, but this was not. It was a kissed filled with the passion of years of pent up emotion. It was years of lusting after him. She wanted him so desperately in every way possible. She could not believe what she was doing, kissing her commanding officer i th middle of her lab, but Sam no longer cared. She just wanted him. She was claiming him as her own, and she loved him, how the hell had she waited this long when kissing him felt so good.

Jack had been shocked by her bold move, but he was not complaining. In fact, he felt like his dreams were coming true. Carter was kissing him, no more than kissing him, she was urging him on. He deepened the kiss. Letting years of wanting flow out of him. Moaning her name over and over as they kissed deeply. For what seemed like hours, but was in reality only a few minutes, then Jack could feel himself starting to loose control. Sam ground her body down against his, and part of him could not help but react. "Fuck Sam" he moaned breaking the kiss and moving to place soft kisses on her neck. "If you only want to bend the rules and not shatter them in this lab you better stop, because soon I won't be able to."

She laughed and kissed his neck in return, but stopped grinding. She hardly thought her lab was the best setting for them to be doing this, let alone go further. It was then that Jack leaned against her, wrapping his arms around her body holding her tight. "I never thought I would get the chance to say this… But I love you too Sam." He could not believe how easy the words had come out after years of keeping them to himself. This just felt right.

With that Sam gave him a more gentle loving kiss, and then held him tight in return, her head resting between his neck and shoulder. They sat there talking, resting against each other. For the first time they felt free to say how much they felt for the other, and all the times they wished they could have told each other in the past. It was if as they held each other they forgot all about the regulations and the stargate program and could for once be just Jack and Sam, but eventually reality seeped back in.

They both decided that things would not progress any further until they had got the go ahead from General Hammond. If he was trying to work something out for them, then they would just need to be patient, and in the meantime, it was lovely to just be held by the other.

Eventually at around 20:00 they knew that it was time to head home. Sam stood up off Jacks now almost numb legs, amazed at how much this man loved her.

"So Carter" he smiled, he still liked calling her Carter, especially if she called him Sir, "I think its about time you and I go on a date, you know, seeing that in four months you're having my kid" he joked. "I'll pick you up, 7pm Friday night?"

"Yes Sir" was all the response she gave. Now, they only had to wait to see if Hammond could get things settled before then,


	15. First dates

**Chapter 21**

As Sam stood looking at the pile of clothes on the floor she wished for maybe the hundredth time that her first date with Jack was not when she was already 5 months pregnant, even if she was pregnant with his child. Everything she pulled out that could be considered 'date worthy' no longer had any chance of fitting her. Finally she found a simple black dress, it was a little tight around her breasts, but it had a loose pleated skirt that flowed over her bump, causing the hemline to be a little shorter than usual.

She took care to make sure that her hair and makeup were perfect, she seldom wore make up these days, or did her hair, or for that matter, wore a dress, but tonight was special. tonight she was going out with Jack. Sam looked in the mirror… and added yet another count to the "i wish I was not pregnant" tally. Although she felt pretty, she did not look sexy, and she so wanted to look sexy for him. Her hands on her belly she sighed as she heard her doorbell ring.

On the other side of the door Jack was just as nervous as she was, hell, he was wearing a suit for godsake. He could not understand why she would love an old dog like him, but he was not about to let her go. Finding out that she now loved him as much as he loved her, and that she was willing to give up her career for him… well, to say it made him happy would be the understatement of the year. Her door opened and he saw her. Only one word came to his mind.

"Beautiful" he had spoken aloud.

"Pardon Sir?" She questioned automatically.

"You Carter…" he leaned in to kiss her cheek "are beautiful.

She smiled a honest smile. "You don't look so bad yourself"

"Come on then" he said grabbing her wrist, "I have a night planned for us".

With that Sam locked the door behind her and went with him.

They had both known that until Hammond figured out a way for them to be together that they would need to be discreet with their date so Jack had chosen a small Italian restaurant on the opposite edge of town to the base. It was a small space with candle lit corners for them to hide in. It was perfect. Full of old world charm. Jack knew he had chosen well when he saw Sam smile. When they were shown to the table he pulled out her chair and then sat at a 90 degree angle to her in his own. They ordered their food quickly and then fell into a comfortable, and yet laughable silence as they looked at each other. Eventually Jack reached over and took her hand in his.

"Are you wondering how we managed to get here too?" He asked.

Sam smiled "I never thought we would, it seems…."

"Surreal" he smiled. "But I am so glad we are… here that is"

At that they both laughed at themselves. It was not that it was awkward between them, but after so long of wanting to be together, of lying about how they felt, of dreaming about the other from a distance, sitting in a restaurant just felt… strange somehow.

"Samantha Carter" He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it "I love you".

Even though they had already said it to each other in her lab, hearing Jack openly declare his love for her on this their first date instantly brought tears to her eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't cry" he wiped the tears away with his free hand.

"I'm just not used to hearing you say it yet Jack" her voice was full of emotion. "and of course I love you too".

"You know, this has to be the oddest first date I have even been on" Sam smiled as she spoke "I mean, our meals are not even on the table yet and we have declared our love for each other."

"Well, that is because on first dates people are trying to find out the basics about each other usually. You know, where are you from, what do you do, do you agree that the Simpsons is the best show on television". He grinned and cupped her face with the hand that had been wiping away her tears. "But my love, I already know all this about you. I know how you like your coffee, what amazing, life saving, improbable work you do. I already know you."

Sam eyes shone at they stared at each other. It was then that Jack did something she did not expect. He stood up from his chair and then went down on one knee before her. She looked at him in confusion.

"But Sam, there is one thing I don't know about you." He looked up at her, holding her hand tightly in his own. He free hand brought forward a small black box. Jack flipped it open and asked. "The second, and I mean the very second Hammond gives us the ok, will you marry me?"

Sam was dumbfounded. It was their first date after all, and he had just asked her to marry him. Inside the black box sat a stunning white gold and diamond solitaire ring. Her mind was racing at a million miles an hour and it was only after about 20 seconds that she realised that she had not yet given him an answer. "Jack, only you could ask someone to marry you on a first date. I swear, once you get an idea in your head you always just run with it."

"Well, I figured we had wasted enough time, and I would rather our child know from the start just how deeply we love each other".

"Well, if thats the case then… Yes."

"Yes?" He asked looking up at her with a big smile.

"Jack, you are the most wonderful man I have ever known, you love me and I love you. I am also having your child and almost quit this week just so I could have a shot at being with you. What part of your brain ever thought I would say no?"

With that jack stood up and kissed her softly, knowing now that she would be his forever.

"Here are your meals" a waiter spoke, interrupting their kiss.

They both smiled shyly, not used to people seeing them together. The waiter placed the meals down on the table and walked away. Jack took the ring out of the box, and kissing her hand placed it on her finger. With this Sam let out a joyous laugh.

"What?" He asked, genuinely perplexed.

"I think I have to say in all of the universe, this maybe the strangest first date ever". With that they both laughed and ate their meal, chatting about the most inane and intimate moments of their lives. Really, just just enjoyed the chance to talk to one another, and soon, hopefully she would wear the ring he had just given her in public.


End file.
